Awkward in Auckland

I see now all the hidden signs of denial. How long it took me to book my ticket to New Zealand. The way I kept rescheduling my last day at work. The refusal to have a "going away do" or any sort of goodbyes that seemed semi-permanent.

Friday night my former foreign roommate (now my best friend in Sydney and everywhere else) drove me from North Ryde to North Sydney in a tall dented van and we watched from an unusual height as the harbour crept into view. The bridge, the Opera House, the sailboats that have been multiplying daily. As we drove through roads painted purple by jacarandas, I started weeping for a Sydney I hadn't realized I was sad to let go of.

Yesterday I moved to Auckland, New Zealand, and I didn't want to go didn't want to go didn't want to go.

It's a necessity, I told myself as they voided my Australian visa and issued my Kiwi one. There's no other way I sniffled, boarding my Qantas flight. I kept my face pressed to the window across the water, watching vast Australia get so small that it was hard even to pick out the moon on the distant horizon, pressing back my tears until I got a migraine.

Don't get me wrong. I'm sure New Zealand is very nice. Hobbits liked it. My Samoan taxi driver asked me for my phone number in a voice so small that you would think all of his huge slabs of beef-muscle were a convincing super-suit. Two people who I smiled to in the street said hello and asked me how my day was. In Sydney, you're lucky to get a smile back. In New York, you're lucky not to get a scowl. The city is bright and fresh and wide open, and completely empty of friends. I talked to the boy who sold me my new cellphone for a solid hour because it was the first conversation I'd had in twenty-four hours.

I'm sure it will be better once I get a job. Once I allow an out-of-my-league cute Kiwi boy to show me around as offered. But for now: if you know anyone in Auckland, send help.

Comments

[Vulgar Wizard]

Take some photos???

[Heidi]

No one is out of your league. You are the person I would give anything to have been at your age.

[RLGelber]

I agree with Heidi. I wish I'd had the courage to do what you're doing at your age. What memories you are creating. I sure am enjoying your journey. I can't even remember how I found your blog in the first place.

[Liz]

It won't be long until we are hearing all about your new friends, your new adventures and here we will be - hanging on your fantastic words.

Hang in there, it won't be long. Where are you going next, I can't help but wonder? where does this journey end?

[toby]

My only contact in NZ is a great-aunt who is a frightful snob with nothing good to say about anybody. I hope you don't have the misfortune to cross her path!

Aim high, babe. Start with the Kiwi hunk, he might be a perfect fit :)

[Each]

i know this isnt helpful, but im off to Sydney in less than a week, and tremedously excited, and without any plans. any ideas?